Free flow, in lockdown

Kigali, Rwanda

I fly in from Berlin, to honor a consulting work contract, being effective 1st March
Great times reconnecting with the motherland again, more networking
Work on an Airbnb project with Dadi, close friend. Money gets invested
We find an abandoned place out of the city, close to the lake, clean it, paint it, bring life to it.

Meet friends I haven’t seen for a while
Link up with new connections including the Austrian new friend
We go to a wonderful party, have fun, stay in the small circle
First customers get in. Business seems promising
First case of corona gets announced in the country, Business is shaken with little hope.
The Institution sends a starting date extension, 1st April.
Bertie’s car gets broken, we fix it with Dadi and Bertie (close UK friend), 2-3 days
20th, last link up with Bertie and Dadi, fun night, just for three. home. 
We finally fixed an old Rover, we mini-celebrate that. Team work wins. 

Dadi, 21st, we decide to stop moving even though the lockdown isn’t here yet
Same night, lockdown is announced, to be effective midnight
Same night, family members are celebrating grandmas special 80th birthday
Same night, my worries from grandmas are multiplying. 
She has high blood pressure. I decide to miss the important event.
Same night, she reaches her climax on happiness, she nearly dies, her heart almost stops. 
She becomes unconscious for minutes.
Same night, people cry, pray, call God, emergency numbers, etc. etc.  
She suddenly comes back to life, happiness was an overdose. Smoothly cut the cake, we’re grateful.
Same night, I cancel the payment for my new place since I won’t be able to move in.
Same night, I lose the house that took me three weeks to find, including brokers funds. 
Same night, I decide to head to the family house. Avoiding solo quarantining.
Same night, our Airbnb investment is lost. Let’s restart after international flights resume. Who knows when.
Reaches home midnight, perfect timing. Life is on hold. Lockdown comes to life. Quality time with fam starts. 
They miss me and my brother from China. We’ve been out of the country for a year. 

1st week of the lockdown, work sends a contract cancellation email.
We are sorry to inform you xyz, corona reasons. An unexpected sad day
My girlfriend is locked in Dakar, her housemates go to party amid the virus, she’s worried, I’m worried.
My finances are shaken, got to find another way to get money, lockdown reminds me of the impossibility
She gets evacuated, sleeps in the airport, no food for 22 hours except cocoa, finally make it home. I’m happy.

7pm, I step out of the house, meet a mom carrying a child, she needs whatever work I can give her.
She doesn’t have where to go, no food, she begs for work, I give her groceries money instead. 
I can’t afford more. 500 meters after, I met another one, and another one, and more people asking for food, I realize how bad things are becoming outside, the unprivileged routines. 

Lockdown is extended. Gratefulness starts to hit my soul, I have food, I have a shelter, millions around me don’t.
Problems start to disappear in my mind. They don’t feel heavy anymore. Life is teaching me something here.

Kigali Downtown Taxi Park, (KT Press, 2020).
Retrieved from

Monday, Tuesday, W, T, F, S, Sunday, #Stay home #GumaMurugo.

Genocide against Tutsi commemoration starts, I can’t support friends who lost their families during 1994. Lockdown reasons. We start trying the virtual support. They are being hunted by past events. Wounds are feeling fresh again. I can’t do more than the virtual. It’s sad but we try. Their faith being tested. Healing energy is continuously sent.

Lockdown continues. Austrian friend tests positive on corona.

Bertie doesn’t feel well, tests positive on corona. his girlfriend tests negative. his housemates test negative, government puts them in quarantine. Bertie is taken away for isolation.

Dadi doesn’t feel well, government takes him for isolation. We are now being tracked. Up to 7 people from the party test positive. Government tracking continues. My family isolates me. I receive the Gov call. I test negative, gratefulness continues. Gratefulness will not stop.

The Flame of Remembrance, (KT Press, 2020).
Retrieved from

Long story short. The unscripted story, free flow writing starts to make sense. I get a closer view of fears; I wipe their strengths out. My light soul is activated.

This represent a cocktail of information, it represents a cocktail of thoughts, a roller-coaster of emotions it represents not having an answer to everything happening to you or your surroundings. And It’s okay. Life works that way. Life goes on. Friends including Dadi and Bertie are starting to feel better. Learning to create a mental serene space helped me to go through everything. Focusing on what I have in control and leaving what I don’t to the universe, to the collective hopeful energy of the precious positive humans.

The universe has never worked against us either way, it’s always been for us. We got to remain positive. Let’s spread that energy, stay home. love harder, care harder, thank harder. Grateful hearts, we’re in a better position than most humans. I have time to type on a computer, somebody else is fighting to go out, there is nothing inside except hunger and losing hope – a near death experience, they’re not afraid of Rona, they’re afraid of hunger. They become outlaws, the only survival way. The society judges their acts, the poor is not following lockdown measures, the rich sensitize the poor to donate to the poor. The real image of people remains alive, even in the hardest times. Some things might not change anytime soon, you can’t change the world overnight, nobody did. Focusing on what you have in control. Being the change you want to see with the hope that you inspire some souls to do the same, to join the holistic movement. To change your surroundings, your home, where it all starts. Breathe. 

If you want to go far, go together, (Mzilikazi, 2020).
Retrieved from

Breathe, love heals. We will survive, being able to write and read this, we are the lucky ones, the privileged. We are witnessing a life changing moment. It’s alright, you’re still breathing. Somehow, somewhere, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, there’s a rainbow after heavy storms, we are the light, we are the sun, we are the rainbow. We create life collectively, we will always do, in colors with blue hearts. 

From Kigali, with a message of hope and love. Joe Ntwali.

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